Monday Burn

How great is it to get hurt doing something absolutely awesome? I mean, if you're going down in a heap, doubled over in agony, don't you want it to be for doing something exceptionally heroic/manly? Like deadlifting 450 pounds? Or removing a tree stump with your bare hands? I mean, as dangerous as those activities are, nobody would ever look at you like you're an idiot if you pulled up lame afterwords. So, have you ever hurt yourself after going max effort and coming up just a bit short?

No, you haven't. You're full of shit. I bet you're like the rest of humanity, and get hurt doing something so innocuous that you're afraid to tell the story to your closest friend, for fear that this admission will lose you even more respect in the community.

But, don't feel bad. Not all of us can be Joe Theismann types. (And no, I'm not going to link to the compound fracture footage, because I watched it live and I'm still scarred. You have a computer and access to youtube, don't you?--gross yourself out.)

Take me for example. Why, last week I threw out my back rescuing newfoundlands from a burning animal shelter--i strapped 650 pounds of wiggly puppy on my shoulders and made a run through burning timbers and ash. It was only after I was outside and released the dogs from my grasp that I realized my lower back had locked up and I couldn't stand up straight. How's that for heroic?

What's that? alright. Promise you won't tell. I tweaked my lower back picking up an empty laundry basket. It hurt SO bad! For like, two days.

Then, this weekend, I pulled an ass muscle sleeping. The good news is that the lower back injury seems to have disappeared. Maybe it's just the one owie!, and it is slowly moving south. If it gets to my kneecaps, i'm calling a doctor.

Mondays suck.