Sometimes You Win, Sometimes you Lose, Sometimes, it Rains. Think About That...

Why am I channeling Nuke LaLouche today?  Because sometimes "mixed bag" pretty much sums up life.  Take my professional pursuits.  (Please?)  Yesterday, I had two work things in two separate cities (Philly and Balt'more).  Without going into ANY detail, the Philly thang went good, the Baltimore thang...not as much.  But, the train rides were all superb.  See?  Silver lining y'all!

I am taking this philosophy to my rooting interests today.  First to the very, very good.  The Red Sox have opened their wallets once again to acquire the services of one Carl Crawford.  The terms of the deal haven't been released fully as of this writing, but it's in the neighborhood of 7 years, 140 million.  Which is probably about right for this guy.  I could not be more excited about the 2011 Red Sox right now.  Well, truth be told, I actually COULD be a little more excited about their bullpen.  They need some help there.  But, all in all, everything else is looking pretty good for Boston come opening day.  Here's their projected batting lineup, according to...well, me:

1) Carl Crawford--LF
2) Dustin Pedroia--2B
3) Adrian Gonzalez--1B
4)Kevin Youkilis--3B
5) David Ortiz--DH
6) JD Drew--RF
7) Marco Scutaro--SS
8) Jason Varitek/Jerrod Saltalamacchia(sp?)--C
9) Jacoby Ellsbury, CF 

Solid.  Real.  Solid.  Should be a real good defensive club as well, did I mention that?  Up the middle, on the corners, you name it.  Can we start playing tomorrow?  Clear the snow off the infield, I'm ready to shell peanuts, inhale hotdogs and buy another "American League Champions" hat come October!  Eat it Yanks!  Eat it!

(C'mon...it's just a few flakes.  Who's got a snowblower?  GAME ON!)

(taking a deep breath...om....om...)

(NOTE TO WASHINGTON NATIONALS FRONT OFFICE: Carl Crawford is a 4 tool player who is as durable as it gets.  A guy who comes as close to being "Ricky Henderson" as anyone has since that great player's retirement. THIS IS THE GUY YOU BACK UP THE BRINKS TRUCK FOR AND GIVE A 7 YEAR DEAL TO.)

On the minus side of my sports obsessions, Newcastle United have signed Alan Pardew to be their manager.  You know, the guy that ALMOST got relegated while managing West Ham in 2006, with Javier Mascherano and Carlos Tevez in the lineup.  I'm pretty sure Newcastle doesn't have that kind of talent coming out of the locker room each week.  (Looking...)  Nope.  Not even close.  Jonas Gutierrez has got "Tevez 2006" like hair, but even that's a stretch:

                              (Yeah, I know--not really that close)

I'm too depressed to offer any kind of in depth analysis on this subject, except to add that I HATE.  HATE.  HATE what has happened this past week in NUFC-land.  The last time I remember feeling this way about any of the teams I root for was when the Bruins traded Joe Thornton for Marco Sturm and a bag of pucks in '05.  It took me all of three years to get over that.  I just hate rooting for the team that is obviously going in the wrong direction. 

So, in other words, Red Sox: I am REALLY looking forward to a season of watching you play with joy and verve and poetry this coming spring.  (Must. Stop. watching "Bull Durham" every time it's on.)

Welcome to the Semi-Monthly Sports Related Breakdown

So much to discuss, dear readers, so much to discuss.  I am like a kid in a candy store, if all the candy in the store was shaped like sporting equipment, and smelled like freshly mowed grass.  Or something.

First to baseball:  The hot stove has been...well...hot, what with my beloved Red Sox making a big move in the past week, by trading for Adrian Gonzalez.  Let me be the 1 millionth person to say that I LOVE this trade.  Love the fact that the Sox got it done in the off-season, instead of waiting for the trading deadline when the price would have certainly gone up. Love the fact that he fills the hole in the lineup left by Victor Martinez.  Love the fact that he plays gold glove caliber defense. Did the Sox give up value to get value?  Of course.  That kid Casey Kelly will be a star someday, especially pitching in that canyon of a ball park in San Diego, where home runs and doubles turn into long flyball outs.

Welcome to Boston, Adrian!  While you're here, feel free to take that outside pitch to left-center, you'll be glad you did. (AP Photo/Josh Reynolds)

Before I move on, I must comment on the Jayson Werth deal made by the local DC nine.  I believe the terms were 7 years, 126 million.  This deal prompted me to write an open letter to the Nationals--here's a quick reprint of said letter:

"Dear Nationals Front Office:

You just overspent for outfield help.  Not just by a little, mind you, but by a whole, whole lot.  Jayson Werth for 7 years?  Are you insane?  Jayson Werth is a good player, not a great player.  Sure, the Yankees or Red Sox would have paid him this much, but in NY or Boston he would only have been a piece of the puzzle, and not expected to be one of the two pillars that carries your entire offense.  And he wasn't getting 7 years anywhere, not even in the Mexican league.

This is why the rest of the GM's at the winter meetings cannot look you in the eye without smirking.  They are not, as they maintain, "thinking about something funny they saw earlier."  Nope.  

Oh, and I'm not sure you've heard, but he's injury prone.  Congratulations, you just signed the free agent class of 2010's version of J.D. Drew."

Sorry, i felt like I needed to get that off my chest.  Twice.

Now, to Soccer: Newcastle United have sacked their manager, Chris Hughton,  this week.  This is same guy that got us promoted into the Premier League last year with a record number of points, and who brought some much needed stability and dignity to a club that is regularly chided for their soap opera antics and irrational decision making.  Plus, the players in the dressing room LOVED playing for him. 

Look, all I wanted from the Toon this year was a quiet season of consolidation.  NUFC are newly promoted, after all.  I was looking for maybe 53 points this year, and a comfy 12th place finish (they currently sit 11th in the table).  But NO...Our fat, clueless, idiotic owner has to go rocking the boat.  Were there inconsistent, poor results this year? Sure.  But that's to be expected--the season is a marathon, not a sprint, and judging by the overall standings, it was plain to see by all except NUFC management that the club was trending upwards.  Twelve months ago, they were playing AWAY at Scunthorpe for God's sake!  This year, they've already beat Arsenal away and DESTROYED Sunderland.  Some perspective would be nice, is all I'm saying.  

The smart money is on Martin Jol to replace him--the former manager of Ajax, who quit his job in Holland six hours after Hughton was fired.  That seems too fishy to be coincedence.  Listen: Jol is a good manager, and I hope he gets the job.  But how much improvement is he expected to give to a club that ain't all that talented to begin with?  Maybe up to10th?  And is that worth throwing away 18 months of stability for?  I don't think so.

Until there is a change at the top, this kind of nonsense will continue, and I'll continue to have to take crap from all my EPL loving friends. Can anyone out there with 100 million laying around do me a solid and buy this team? Anyone?  (Note to self:  Make friends with more millionaires).

(One of these guys is the owner of Newcastle United Football Club.  No. Seriously.)

FIFA=IOC.

Listen, I'm not a conspiracy theorist kind of guy.  I tend to think that most things that people think are conspiracies are really just the result of gross incompetence meeting perfect timing.  The result looking like a tangled web of intrigue, when it's really, really not.

However, I must admit, even I was sure the fix was in during today's awarding of the 2018 and 2022 World Cup Bid Decision by FIFA.  You see, like the IOC, FIFA holds a competition for the privilege hosting the most watched sporting event in the world.  The winning host country, aside from earning the prestige of hosting such a wonderful tournament, also get the privilege of spending millions and millions and millions of dollars to host a one month competition.  (Dry Cough)  After which, most nation's need to figure out what to do with the three brand new stadia they have built for the competition.  (drier cough).  One COULD argue that it is a curse to host either the Olympics or the World Cup given the outlay of money that can never be recouped after the tent comes down, but maybe another time for that thread. 

Having said all that...today's decision regarding FIFA's awarding of the 2018 and 2022 world cups to...wait for it...Russia and Qatar? just smacks of payola and corruption.

Okay, I'll admit, selfishly I was hoping for Spain/Portugal 2018 and USA 2022, because it would give me TWO opportunities to see this competition in person. So maybe I'm bitter.  Scratch that.  I'm really bitter.

Listen, Russia.  We all know you bought this one.  England were the clear choice--they have the infrastructure, they have the stadiums, and they invented the damn game besides.  And Qatar, I can't even look at you.  You, a country the size of London, are going to host the World's competition over the USA, who has the infrastructure, the security, and the stadiums available to host the World Cup TOMORROW.  Never mind in 12 years.  My god FIFA.  I know you want the World Cup to be hosted in EVERY part of the world, and I applaud that, but it is clear to me that someone drove a truckload of money to FIFA's house in order to push both of these bids through.  I mean, why bother having finalists, if all FIFA is going to do is pick the most exotic location with the most resources available to pay off FIFA voters?

So, I guess this process is no different than the IOC circus.  So...fine then.  But won't anyone think about how this affects ME?  I, who will never know the joy and spectacle of this event taking place in the District?  Or of waking up at my sister's place in Lisbon in 2018 and heading down to the Alvalade to watch the USA hoist the World Cup...third place trophy?  (I'm a realist).

Damnit.