I would like to begin this week with an open letter to Cameron Diaz:
Dear Ms. Diaz,
Speaking on behalf of every person in America, or at least of the 80% of us who have TV's and watch the Super Bowl, let me just say: eww! You know what you did. You fed A-Rod. In public. On camera. In HD, in my case. Maybe you're thinking it wasn't as creepy as everyone whom had the misfortune to witness it believed it was. Well...you are wrong. Very, very wrong. Witness:
My biggest concern? That you would feed ANYONE in public, like some sort of mama bird putting a worm into the gullet of a newborn. This concern is followed closely a secondary repulsion: i.e. that you would feed an adult in public, especially one who actually appears to have a free hand in which to reach for the popcorn.
The third, and perhaps most puzzling moment, is that the adult you are choosing to feed is A-Rod. To bastardize a line from "Tin Cup", it is an established fact that he hates old people, children, and dogs.
You seem to be a bright, talented individual. I'm not sure why you're spending free time with A-Rod, but it is only a matter of time before any of his sociopathic tendencies come to the surface, and you are forced to run for your life. I pray this happens before he gives you a scarf he has knitted for you, one made from your own hair that he has fished out of the trap in the shower over several months.
Sincerely,
Planet Earth (c/o this blog)
ON A MUCH BETTER. NOTE..how about Newcastle Football Club! Down 4-0 at halftime to a much more talented Arsenal team, the lads were able to fight back for a draw, and might have even nipped the full three points had Nolan been able to hit the target in injury time. 4-4, and one of the most exciting games I have ever watched. Hair on my neck is standing right now thinking about it. And no, I haven't stopped smiling yet.
This kind of fightback was wholly unexpected from NUFC. Especially after the week they've had: 1)selling their only decent striker to Liverpool for a mint, 2) Having their remaining mediocre striker (Shola...poor Shola) have his cheek broken midweek in a loss to Fulham. And, to do it against Arsenal? And to be able to take 4 points out of 6 from the Gunners this year? Yeah, you could say it really kicked off my weekend on the right note. Newcastle are now the first team in premier league history to climb back from 4 goals down. Howray the Lads!
