Stuff We all Should Do This Weekend

I, like 99 percent of the population, love Fridays. LOVE! FRIDAYS! Work starts to wind down around noon, there's a possibility I'll treat myself to a lunch out, and with two days ahead of me where I will NOT be worrying about job related garbage, the whole day just sings to me. Even the Wonderdog loves Fridays, because this is usually his romp in the park day. He's got each Friday circled on his calendar. He has it hanging in his crate.

(Of course, aside from the fact that i'm not really sure how the Wonderdog is able to actually HOLD the red marker, let alone make such perfect circles around specific dates, I'm pretty impressed by his taste in wall calendars. Last year it was "Route 66" themed, with pictures of stops along that iconic road. This year, he's gone with "Vineyards of Tuscany". Quelle Cosmopolitan! Moving on...)

It has also come to my attention that some of you have not made an attempt to cram each and every hour of this weekend full of fun and exciting activities. For shame. I ain't mad at ya though. In fact, you COULD say that I'm here to help. And without further ado, here are three things that y'all really should make time for this weekend (I know I am):

• Watch Manchester City v.Chelsea, Saturday, 7:45 am (ET), ESPN--Chelsea is undefeated in the league this year. In fact, in five games, they've outscored their opponents 21-1. Manchester City is trying to pull a "Chelsea", what with their new owner injecting millions and millions into the club, buying every decent striker on the market and just generally trying to compete with the big boys immediately. You can expect a WIDE OPEN game. There should be goals all over this one; 4-3 would not be out of the question. So, watch why don't ya? Plus, you'll enjoy more of your Saturday waking up with an immediate activity to enjoy. Set the coffee pot to stun.

• Download a Janelle Monae Album--The Velogirl came home last week from the Of Montreal concert, and didn't mention them once. Instead, she was RAVING about the opening act, Janelle Monae. She danced, sang, and had a kickass band behind her, and just generally sent the crowd into a frenzy. She even got an encore. When's the last time you heard of the opening band getting an encore? Here's one of her videos, to get you all fired up to spend that 9.99:

• Dust off your Library Card and Start your Fall Reading List off Right by Checking out "In Defense of Food" by Michael Pollan--Listen, I'm not in the business of recommending books, but this is a good one. Especially if you're like me, and you've spent the majority of your life obsessing about food in both healthy and unhealthy ways. The first line in the book pretty much sets the tone: "Eat Food. Not Too Much. Mostly Plants". So, check it out if you're looking to turn over a few new leaves this October.

So, with that, let me wish you a really fun weekend!

City Life--"Bikeshare has Made it to Ward 4" Edition

So, by now you must know that I spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about my bicycle. Even though I average only about 25 miles/week on it at this point. (dry cough). Nothing gets me more excited than having to go someplace new in the city, and then having to figure out the most favorable bicycle route to get there. The velogirl can attest--I talk about future rides for more time than the actual ride usually takes.

So, because I like to talk about them to anyone who will listen, you can imagine how excited I was when I noticed them putting up a Capital Bikeshare kiosk less than a block away! I am a huge fan of this new edition to our neighborhood for a number of reasons, as you might imagine:

• It gives folks who hate the bus a way to rebel. And, as anyone who has spent any amount of time riding their bike next to a bus can attest, it is SO satisfying to give the bus driver the finger if they try to cut you off as you zoom past. Try it. It's liberating.

• Having Bikeshare so close means that I'll see more bicyclists on the usual areas that I and the Velogirl ride. And more cyclists means more awareness from motorists, which leads to fewer instances of me having to kick passenger doors as they try to merge into my lane. (I swear I'm not a violent person)
  

• Bikeshare is cheap compared to the metro: $50/year for the membership. What is that, like $4/month? If i didn't already have a bike, I would be all over that. Plus, the first 30 minutes of each ride are free. Which means, even if you like to minimize sweating and pedal all leisurely like, you can still get to any other BikeShare kiosk within a 5 mile radius each time you ride for no extra charge. That would pretty much cover most people's commutes to downtown.
  

• I am really impressed that Bikeshare decided to put the bicycles where they did--right here in Ward 4. I expected one up in Columbia Heights (there's one right next to the grocery store), but to put one north of Spring Street on 14th? That makes me really happy. The kind of happy you get when you realize that the city understands what you need to make it a little more livable.

Of course, it ain't all roses. There are certain longtime residents of my neighborhood (For whom the word "Bicycle" is code for "gentrification"), who will not be as thrilled with the direction alternative transportation is taking in our neighborhood. And, many will probably never try to ride the 5 blocks up to Giant and back. And that is their right. Although, I will say with pride that, at least in our little neck of the woods, bicycles are owned and operated by all ages, classes, and races. So, there has to be SOMETHING to this bicycle phenomenon that urban centers are experiencing, even if they aren't getting buy-in from everyone.

My (naive?) hope is that this new set-up of easily accessible bicycles for rent will encourage one more person to, as the saying goes, "Shut up and Ride."

"Outside" Magazine: What do you WANT from me?

So, I subscribe to Outside magazine. Their tagline is: "Adventure Travel, Gear, and Fitness." Since i'm interested in at least two of those things, it seemed like a good fit, or so the Velogirl said when she signed me up for the subscription. And, at first, I was really excited as well. "I'll be inspired," says I, "to push myself to do more really interesting things in the out-of-doors."

Soon, however, I came to realize that Outside magazine doesn't want to inspire me--it wants me to feel like shit because I don't have the resources to accomplish 1/10th of what they suggest in each issue.

Need an example? Of course you do. This past issue, for example, they suggest that I add to my bucket list the following items from their "The Life" list:

• Become a Bush Pilot--The fuck? Putting aside the fact that you need to own a PLANE and you know, be an average pilot, it also takes about 1000 hours in the air to get certified. So, that seems a little goddamn pretentious and out of reach for everyone but the two rich assholes who probably edit this magazine, no?

• Coin a Phrase--Huh? Well, here's one, off the top of my head: "Let's NOT do What You Say!"

• Join the Circus--Hard to tell if they mean the ACTUAL circus, or the "Almost Famous" interpretation, and go on tour with a band. In either case, I'm pretty sure that dream died in 1975.
  

Of course, it should have never gotten to the September issue for me. I should've known something was up when 4 out of the first 8 issues had Sebastian Junger on the cover. That guy, aside from being a pretty good writer, is the poster child for the guy you NEVER want to make the mistake of mentioning any of your hobbies/accomplishments to.

Just ran a sub 5 mile for the first time did you? Well sit back and listen to Mr. Junger, as he is more than happy to talk about the fact that he averages a 4:45 mile (he's 48, BTW). Just ran your first marathon, eh? Well, Sebastian was just telling us all how he went to live with the Navajo(who have a tradition of long distance running) for a summer and was, in his words "the first white guy they'd met who could beat most of their top runners." (Outside Magazine, September 2010, p. 74). He's that guy who not only LOVES to one-up, but absolutely has the stories to go with, so instead of sounding cool, he comes off all Commander McBragg. Personally, I've never had much time for dbags like that.

So, all this has led me to the litmus test of magazine subscriptions. Here it goes: If the magazine you are currently reading was a person, would you want to be friends with it?

In my case, me and "Outside" magazine would never be friends--I love the outdoors, but I don't need to spend 25k just to enjoy myself, which is what "Outside" wants from me. Plus, "Outside" magazine is real good friends with Sebastian Junger, and I just hate that cocky SOB. And you just KNOW they would eventually bring him out for drinks when you were there, and it would be awkward as shit, and who needs that kind of magazine friend? Not me. No sir, Not me.

And...I'm Ready for More.

First off, let me apologize for the lapses in the posts the last few weeks or so. While I'd love to give some overly elaborate excuse for why I haven't been posting so regularly, the simple truth is, I was kidnapped by a group of Chechnyian extremists, who demanded that I help them complete their new suitcase fission bomb project. And, wouldn't you know it, there wasn't a reliable internet connection to be had in that concrete-encased concrete bunker they were holding me in. The good news? They were true to their word, and released me as soon as I had the last uranium rod in place. I don't feel REAL good about how I've spent the last ten days, but at least I'm not a liar. That you can take to the bank.

Anyways, I figured I'd pick up where we had left off here in this space. VANCOUVER! So, here are my thoughts on what is, for many, their favorite Canadian city:

• Vancouver is like if Seattle and San Francisco had a love child. It has the rugged physical backdrop of Seattle combined with the hilly poshness of San Fran. A real scenester type city. I mean, I expected a city full of laid-back, tree-lovin', fly-fishin', Canadian hospitality types. Instead, I met alot of the same self-important dbags types that I always seem to run into in San Francisco. So, I don't know what to feel about this city, to be honest. You certainly can't argue with the view:

(Just. Beautiful.)

• I have not seen many more beautiful urban centers than downtown Vancouver. It's a very walkable city as well--I had the chance to pretty much walk the width of downtown--it took me all of 25 minutes from bridge to bridge. That is what you call a natural growth barrier. You just get the sense that this city is made to be explored on foot.

• A word about the Canadian flag: It's awesome. But, I have a way it could be even awesomer: What if the flag would change color throughout the year, mimicking the life of the actual maple leaf itself! So, it would be deep green and white in spring, a lighter green/white in summer, and then, finally, the red and white flag we see today would be reserved for fall. Of course, in the winter, there aren't any leaves on the maple...hmm...maybe it could be maple syrup colored in the winter? Isn't that when maple sap runs? Ah well, it was just a thought.

(Majestic. Classic. But with a few small tweaks...unstoppable!)

• While I was there, they had a "Canadian hip-hop Showcase" as part of some downtown bar promotion. It was happening outside, so I stopped for a few minutes to take it in. It's always disarming for an American to watch Canadians try on hip-hop as their creative medium. The language is always a little too...what's the word?...crisp? It just doesn't sound like rap lyrics. Which is fine, to be honest, as long as you KNOW you're not getting close to the flow of a Snoop or a Dre or an Eminem. I mean, i'm a big fan of The Streets, and he just sounds like a drunken Brit rapping about after hours eating establishments. But, it does sound like he's living the life he's speaking about. So that's something.

The final verdict for me: I would love to spend a long weekend in the mountains around Vancouver: do some camping, teach myself how to flyfish, pull some pike out of those cold, clear rivers...and then, I would spend one "clean up" day in Vancouver, stay at a nice hotel, and maybe take in a concert at night. But that's as much time as I would need to spend in the actual city, I think.

Before I go, we have to say a few words about NUFC: Ben Arfa, I don't care if you ARE a big whiny jerkoff, (which seems to be the consensus)--if you keep scoring goals like this one, feel free to mouth off as you please. I mean, you'll have to go a long way to take the crown of douchiest magpie as long as Joey Barton is on the payroll. I mean, look at the mustache he was sporting this year for god's sake:

(Only a real a-hole can feel good about having that thing covering his upper lip.)

Hate to leave it there, but...well, not everything is all ham and plaques.

Calgary--Why Are You So COLD?

I got off the plane in Calgary, and it was like stepping onto the scottish highlands. Foggy, rainy, and cold. Like, 40 degrees cold. So, I was not prepared. Also, it made for really crappy picture taking. Here we are in the foothills of the Rockies, and not one Rocky appeared all day. Boo. All my pictures looked like they were taken through a wet piece of tarp, so I decided you could just go onto some Calgary tourist site and get a better feel for what this city is about.

Having been to Calgary 6 years ago as part of ye olde honeymoon, I was expecting to have a real nostalgic type feeling for the town which would make the experience enjoyable despite the weather issues. Turns out, it was actually the Velogirl who made this place fun and, dare I say? exotic the first time around.

Huh. Goes to show that people probably put too much thought into planning their perfect honeymoon. After all, you're probably going to be happy wherever you go with the person you so recently married and (hopefully) are fond of. At least that was my experience.

Although, if you can go to a place for a day or two where they have really fresh chocolate milk and a stampede and Alpacas!, and then move onto a place like THIS for the rest of the time, I recommend it highly. Just sayin'.

I am hoping that I'll have more luck in Vancouver today--it's supposed to be in the 50's there! Happy days! At the very least, my flight is an early one today, so I'll have a little more time to maybe explore. And dry out the camera.

Why Why Zed? Take Off!

Every once in a while, an opportunity comes along for me to knock something off my bucket list. Today, that item is flying into Toronto airport. Anyone who has read this in the past knows where this is heading. Three letters: Y.Y.Z. Doubles as both an airport code and one of the finest Rush instrumentals ever created. The beginning rhythm of the song is actually morse code for YYZ. Pure. Dorky. Genius. And DON'T think I won't be listening to it for the entire flight. TOTALLY have it downloaded and my finger is on the repeat button. Excited doesn't begin to tell the story.

Which brings me to the slight format change for this blog the next few days. Since I'm on travel to the Great White North(west), I will be posting twice a day, although the posts will be a bit more modest in size. But, hopefully, they will include some really great pictures of what it means to be an American abroad in 2010

Okay, using the word "abroad" to describe a 3 day jaunt into Canada isn't exactly accurate. My phone still works there, for instance. But, it is a foreign land according to the United Nations, so I will do my best to bring you back some recon straight from the home of hockey.

The Weekend of the Gas Leak

Yeah, I'm not what you call a squeamish chap. I don't flinch at killing REALLY scary bugs, I view roadkill as more of a curiosity than something REALLY repugnant, and I almost NEVER flinch when my milk curdles as I pour it into really hot coffee. Although that last one does anger up the blood.

But, there are three things that I fear more than anything else. I mean even if these three things DIDN'T end up taking me to my meeting with St. Peter a little early, I don't want to experience them. Ever. They are, in no particular order:

1. Being caught in a cave-in (which is why you'll never see me in Carlsbad caverns).
2. Being electrocuted (I HATE that vibrate-y feeling of current running through my body. HATE!)
3. Coming home and being greeted at the door by the smell of a gas leak. (Ever since Dixie got blown up by that albino special forces guy in the original "Lethal Weapon", I have been in awe of natural gas and it's awesome power. And special effects.)
   

I guess you can guess which one I dealt with this weekend. Let me paint you a quick picture: Beautiful, humid free Sunday. I had just returned from an afternoon fishing with my peglegged, eyepatch wearing, boat owning friend. I've got a nice boat tan going, a cooler full of rockfish (okay, a cooler full of STORIES about FISHING for rockfish...just as good), and a song in my heart. I come home to regale the Velogirl about the one(s) that got away. But, as soon as I walk in the house, something is immediately wrong. I smell the gas.

Not in a "there's so much gas in here that i'm afraid of biting into a wintergreen lifesaver for fear of the spark" way. More of a "where is that COMING from?" way. A little investigation found that the source was behind the stove.

It should be noted that while i'm investigating all of this and sweating profusely from coming to grips to one of my top three fears, the Velogirl is in the house, doing laundry and just generally kicking some Sunday arse. When i mention to her that we probably have a gas leak, she casually says, "yeah--that's been annoying all day." and then returns to her list making. Let me make this clear: If i had been home alone and smelled gas, I would NOT have been so casual about it. Picture traffic cones surrounding the house, a swat team on the roof, and me, 6 blocks away, coordinating house rescue efforts from a local taqueria where I can stress eat tacos and try to convince myself that everything will be fine, while petting the fur off the wonderdog.

So...yeah. The Velogirl is not only really easy on the eyes, she's also really, really tough. Later in the day, after the ordeal is behind us, she will reveal to me that she was feeling lightheaded all day but couldn't put her finger on why. Bad. Ass.

Back to the sitch...

I stop panicking for a moment and call the gas company, and they tell me that someone is coming out to check on it today. In the meantime, I escort the family to the front porch where we can wait out of harm's way. In a few minutes, a guy shows up and checks the house--turns out that the cutoff valve behind the stove had come a wee bit loose. Oh, and the line between the valve and the stove had two separate holes in it. Hmm...not good.

I am relieved and angered at this point. Relieved that it wasn't worse. Angered that I'm going to have to figure out how to fix all this junk back there. I try to convince the gas guy to tighten the connection to the cutoff valve, which he does. He was a real nice guy, it should be said.

The next step is spending some time Monday going to the hardware store and installing a new gas line to the stove. Not a huge deal, obviously. But, I am NOT handy. So, it took me two trips to the hardware store and alot of deep sighing to get the right size hose with the right sized connections.

The good news? Gas smell is now gone, the stove no longer has the red tag of death on it from the gas company. AND, I know the difference between a 5/8 and 3/4 inch connection. Look at me! I just got 15% handier.