Stress Ballet and Hatchet Jobs: A Tuesday Movie Review

I wouldn't exactly characterize m'self as a regular movie goer.  In fact, I probably saw, in the theater, less than 7 movies in all of 2010.  I am not sure why this is, as I mostly enjoy the experience.  I like smelling like buttered popcorn when I get home.  I like watching other people's reactions to the movie.  And, yes, I like sitting in the dark with the Velogirl. 

However, here in 2011, I am on pace to shatter the 30 movie mark. I have already seen TWO movies.  TWO!  I know--it's a little like awarding the batting title to the guy hitting .400 in April (still a long way to go, cowboy).  But, you have to admit, I'm on a roll. 

The first movie I saw was Black Swan.  Saw it at my favorite theater in DC.  It's one of those places with the gourmet snackbar, a place where you can get anything from a cup of coffee to a bar of Toblerone.  Which also happens to be the snack combo I opted for. Imagine that. The Velogirl shares my love of this theater, as they offer Italian soda for to wash popcorn down with. She doesn't like italian soda.  She LOVES it!

So, premium snacks in hand, we sat down to watch the movie.  For those of you who have not seen Black Swan, the plot revolves around a ballerina (played by Natalie Portman) who kind of, slowly but surely, loses her shit.  Watching this movie is like sitting in a quiet room with a really, REALLY nervous person for two hours, and just watching them get even more uptight and nervous the whole time, all while they pick at a scab on their hand intermittently.

My reaction?  I kind of just sat there with sweaty palms, looking for ANY excuse to nervously laugh at any moment that was remotely ironic/funny.  And, I hardly touched my chocolate--that's how nervous this movie made me.

Takeaways:

• Natalie Portman obviously made that new movie with Ashton Kutcher as a deal with the studio so that she could get this project funded.  She will no doubt run away with the Best Actress oscar for her performance in Black Swan.  Just amazing.
• Darren Aronofsky is twisted.  Truly, deeply, importantly twisted.  And I will make a point to see his movies from now on. 

So, yeah, I recommend it highly.

The second movie was The Social Network.  Saw it at this wee theater with a wee screen in the basement of a Foggy Bottom office building.  Not the place to see a Harry Potter film, but adequate for this flick.

Quick sum-up of plot, you ask? It's the story of Mark Zuckerberg (played by Jesse Eisenberg) and the necks he stepped on while founding Facebook.  To be honest, I didn't think I would enjoy this movie as much as I did.  I liked the way the story was told, I thought the pacing of the movie was excellent, and, most of all, I really ENJOYED hating the pants off of Mark Zuckerberg, who comes off as a total backstabbing, mal-adjusted prick genius.  This movie made me feel proud, at least for a few fleeting minutes after it had ended, for not being on Facebook.

Of course, that's also the downside of this movie.  It felt like a total character assassination.  There is very little here to redeem Mr. Zuckerberg, no tender moment, no real connection with anyone.  Really?  I find this hard to believe.  I'm not asking for "Springtime with Hitler", but there had to be some moments where the guy didn't behave like a total douche and dick over all his friends, right? This movie felt like it was written by someone with an ax and a sword and a mace to grind.  I mean, even that movie detailing how Bill Gates stole Windows from Steve Jobs had more nuance, and those are two guys on the Mount Rushmore of prick geniuses.


I recommend seeing it, but maybe taking it with a grain of salt.