Planes vs. Trains vs. Automobiles--Battle Royal!

The northeast corridor of the United States (DC to Boston), you'll be happy to know, is not exactly inaccessible. Currently, it's serviced by 35 airports, 87 Bus terminals, about 70 train stations and routes, and an interstate highway system that is, if nothing else, direct in it's route.
Having traveled over this route many times, using pretty much every conceivable conveyance available except for tramp steamer, I think it's time to weigh the pros and cons each method has on offer. Or, to be blunt, I'm going to try to convince you that the train is they way to go.

I know what you're thinking: "McBanks old boy, there's goes your objectivity." You know what I say to that? Screw objectivity. Here's what the other tour guides won't tell you: objectivity is an illusion. My theory is that people confuse objectivity with apathy. I mean, if you don't give a crap, it's easy to keep an open mind. And who really wants to know what's on the mind of people who don't care? No one. That's who.

So, let's compare the three, shall we? I'll be grading each method of transport on a scale from 1-5, 1 being crap, 5 being awesometown.

Airplanes:
Ability to Stay on Schedule--3.
Especially when flying in the corridor, you can expect some kind of delay. The upside, there are 75 different flights to every major city each day, so...there are options. hurray.

Time it takes to get from door to door--3.5
Flying is by far the fastest method once, you know, you're in the air. But airports tend to be on the outskirts of town, so more often than not you're stuck in a smelly cab trying to get your ass to/from the city center. Fly into LaGuardia sometime and see how long it takes you to actually hit midtown. Guarantee it'll be longer than the flight itself.

Comfort Level of Travel: 3.5.
I mean, YOU'RE IN A CHAIR IN THE SKY, as Louis C.K. would say. And that's pretty neat. Plus, on regional jets they tend to take out the middle seat, which adds to the comfort level. Downside--there has not been a plane designed in which anyone over 5' 11" can sit in without jamming their knees against the goddamn tray table in front. Unless you fly first class. But first class is for fat people and celebrities. so...pass. And you just KNOW the clownbag in front of you is going to ease his chair back that extra 2.5 mm he's entitled to, which is just enough for your patella to detach. Or, it has been my experience that this is so.

Total Points: 10.

Automobile:

(image courtesy of mattiouz.com)

Ability to Stay on Schedule: 2.
Unless you leave at fucking midnight, there is no way in hades you are getting to where you want to go in the time you would like. So, anytime I have to travel while other people are sleeping, I am going to get surly.

Time it takes to get from door to door: 2.
New Jersey aside, the roads are just a crime scene of trucks and bad drivers and toll booths. And if you have to drive through Connecticut for any reason, you can just tack on another 45 minutes to your travel time, because that all state is one big fail when it comes to the highway system. Note to the nutmeg state: you are no longer the backwater you were 50 years ago when the interstate was put in. So add a third lane.

Comfort Level of Travel: 4.5
Riding in your own personal space all while carrying as much stuff as you wish is as close to awesometown as it gets in this category. I mean, unless you're a 1950's era cold war commie, there's something about a road trip that appeals at the basic level. You vs. America, in a no holds barred, fossil fueled grudge match, where only one can prevail. Plus, there's at least a dozen things you'll see on each trip that will inspire. Or gross you out. You lose .5 point if you have to stop for coffee on the NJ Turnpike. It is not good. No, it is not. (shudder).
Total Points: 8.5

TrainsAbility to Stay on Schedule--4.
Unless you hit something, chances are you are going to be within 10 minutes of the posted schedule. Even on the Acela, which does not always enjoy riding through Connecticut. So, it may take you longer than an airplane to get where you're going, but there's alot less uncertainty as to when you'll arrive. Or, at least .5 points worth.

Time it takes to get from door to door: 3.
Okay, even on the Acela you're talking about a 6 hour trip from DC to Boston. But, I guarantee you that it would take you almost twice as long by car. Even in the regular "cattle car" Amtrak, it beats road trippin' by at least an hour. Plus, train stations are located in downtown areas, so getting where you need to go once you disembark is much less of a hassle. So, once again, way to go train. The only real issue is that it cannot go supersonic. Yet. C'mon SUPERTRAIN. HAPPEN IN MY LIFETIME!

Comfort Level of Travel: 4.
Yes, you still have to share space with complete strangers. But my GOD, the legroom! And, the stress level on the train is non-existent. Plus, the Acela has Free Wifi! I'm typing this right now somewhere between New Haven and New London for pete's sake!. Plus, you can bring food and drink from home, and did I mention that Acela has free wifi? And then there's the snack car. Okay, so that's a minus. That place is a wee bit sad. Ketchup packets everywhere.

Total Points: 11.

Well, assuming you care, what do you think? How do you like to travel along the Corridor?