A Sinister Motive

Recently, the author of The Bacalhau Chronicles forwarded me a piece written by Katie Notopoulos over at BuzzFeed. The title of the article is: The 18 Worst Things for Left Handed People. The author then goes on to name various things that give southpaws a hard time, from the flawed design of spiral notebooks to a complete dirth of left handed can openers. All in all, it was a pretty complete list, and a funny reminder that most everything in this world is designed by right-handed men. (Left Handed Women of the World, UNITE!)

(The Lord Helps Those Lefties That Help Themselves)

I read this with some interest, as I, myself, am a left handed American. And, you wanna know a secret? Being a lefty RULES. Here's just a few examples of why being left handed is such a pleasure, in no particular order:

• Great Nickname! - Since only 1 in 7 human beings are left handed, there's a chance that your circle of right handed friends may bestow upon you the nickname of  "Lefty". Which is the second coolest nickname ever, right behind "Red". Wear it proudly.
  
• Sir Paul McCartney - The greatest Beatle is one of the tribe. That always makes me smile when I think upon it. Not really sure why.
  
• Willie and Waylon never recorded a song called "Poncho and Righty"- And they never will.
  
• Lefties Can Actually USE their Right hands, whereas Right handers...well... - Put it this way: if an average right handed person manages to hold their coffee in their left hand, take a sip, and not spill hot liquid all over themselves, they will immediately sit down and write an Iliad-style epic poem about it, giving themselves the power of flight and perfect balance in their allegorial retelling of the accomplishment. 

It's this last point that I am most proud of. Lefties have managed to thrive in a right handed world. All without the need, for the most part, of specialized equipment. 

The point being: we shouldn't undermine this accomplishment with the airings of our petty grievances, which makes us lefties look weak and uncoordinated in the eyes of the majority. Our motto should always be: no left-handed scissors? No problem! 

I will say though, that spiral bound notebooks were forged by Lucifer himself.