NEW Feature: Places to Meet New Englanders Outside of New England

I know what you're saying: "Why would I want to actively seek out ANYONE from those 6 random states up in the Northeast part of the country?"  A fair question.  And, to be honest, I can't answer that for you.  Just think of this post as field guide.   You know, so that in case you find yourself at one of these places, you will be able to identify those dirty swamp yankees that have the audacity to try and pass themselves off as decent members of society in your own community. And contact the proper authorities if necessary. Much in the same way a birder uses Audubon's to tell a warbler from a sparrow:

(You can't tell me which one you're looking at, can you?  Betcha wish you had a field guide, huh?)

Today, we will highlight one location where New Englanders may be seen, as well as highlighting the distinguishing characteristics of a New Englander in said habitat.

Location: DUNKIN' DONUTS ("DD")

Best Time to View New Englanders: ANY TIME, DAY OR NIGHT, DRIVE-THRU or COUNTER.

Comments:  Nowhere outside of the actual region can so many New Englanders be viewed in an authentic New England habitat.  It is no secret that New Englanders love their coffee, but Dunkin' Donuts holds a special place in our hearts, and the nostalgia factor is off the charts. Much in the same way someone from SoCal would stop at an "In and Out Burger" in Montana, or someone from Chicago would dine at a "Hot Doug's" in Akron.  Plus the coffee is delicious.  It's not Bess Eaton delicious, but bankruptcy took that beloved institution from Southern New Englanders years ago...sigh.  Moving on...

Identifying Characteristics: One of the reasons that this is such a great place to meet New Englanders is that they feel so comfortable in this most familiar of surroundings.  This leads them to revert back to their roots in both style and mannerisms.  Plus, as the Velogirl has observed, nowhere outside of Dunn's Corners, RI can New England pieces of flair be worn in such a consequence free environment.  Here are some things to look for:

• Red Sox/Patriots Hats--It's a scientific fact known to all New Englanders that coffee tastes 35% better while wearing a Red Sox cap or a Patriots Touk.  In fact, it is not uncommon for both male and female New Englanders to have a hat that they ONLY wear while drinking coffee.
  
• Individuals holding a Large Dunkin' Donuts Coffee Cup--The rest of the country, when first confronted with the large coffee from DD, almost universally and immediately realized that a large (which comes in an approximately 85 oz. cup), is way too much coffee for one individual to safely consume.  However, New Englanders have long ago written off the rest of the country as a bunch of caffeine fearin' pussies, and this mentality is reflected in the fact that 99.8% of the large coffees sold by DD are sold to New Englanders and ex-pats. The other .2% are ordered as part of fraternity hazing rituals in the Southwest.

•  LL Bean Outerwear--New Englanders, if they had their druthers, would order everything from a catalog, including fresh vegetables and automobiles. This especially applies to clothing, where LL Bean is the official gear of late summer through early Spring for most of those folks I would call "true" New Englanders.  Lifetime guarantee to boot on all of their clothes, which appeals to yankees and their frugal puritan nature. Sure, there are some folks in Boston or SW Connecticut that dare to wear North Face outerwear, but these people are simply wannabe New Yorkers and, as a result, are worse than Mussolini.   Look for the telltale markings on the left chest area.

Happy Hunting!  Let me know how it goes.